


Gas

by usachanman



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3281609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usachanman/pseuds/usachanman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The epic lengths one must go to get gas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remember to fill the gas more than halfway or you might end up stranded on the road in a hot desert

In the middle of a desert with only rocky cliffs and the occasional road sign, is a stretch of road. A dust ball bounces on the pathway to signify the absence of life. Animal skeleton heads are scattered across the plains, no longer identifiable from the wear of the elements. For the unlucky traveller who was stranded here, it would mean death…

Which is why Noctis, Prompto, Ignis and Gladiolus find themselves stranded on the side of the road.

Gladiolus lifts the hood of the black convertible and peers over the engine. “It’s fine, I think it just needs gas.”

“What do you mean there’s no gas!?” Ignis rages at the car, while trying to kick start the engine. “I just filled it at the last stop!”

“You always fill the car half way Ignis,” Gladiolus replies. “I don’t understand why you don’t just fill the tank up completely. We can make fewer stops that way.”

Veering his head to the side of the car, Ignis futility protests, “Did you see the gas rates? It’s almost twice as expensive!”

“It’s because Ignis is such a cheap old man that we are stuck here,” Prompto contributes.

“You’re not helping!” Ignis scowls at Prompto before taking out his cellphone. Flipping open his phone he finds there is no signal. 

“Any Luck?” Gladiolus asks.

“No, signal’s dead.” Ignis groans. Ignis opens the compartment and takes out a map. Skimming through, he realizes the closest town is eight miles away. “But, the closest town is eight miles away, so if someone walks over there gets gas; we can get this car started again.”

All three of them stare at the long stretch of empty landscape. Before them is a mass of sandy, hot, desert with no cover or means of shade. They all gulp.  
.  
.  
.  
“Let’s wait a bit maybe someone will come?” Prompto suggests nervously.

“Yeah, no need to go out there yet…” Ignis sweats.

“Sure, let’s do that.” Gladiolus concludes at the long stretched of dusty road ahead of them. 

“Are we there yet?” a fourth voice pipes in.  
.  
.  
.  
“Just go back to sleep,” Prompto pushes Noctis' head to the side.


	2. Yield to the pedestrians!

Today is a wonderful day. It is sunny, warm, and full of clear skies, there isn’t a single cloud in sight. No threats from a rampaging chocobo or wild animal are present. For anyone, it is be the perfect time to go camping…

If they weren’t in the middle of the desert.

However, it seems that four individuals find this an ideal place to relax, because a few meters away from a black shiny convertible lay a tiny lopsided tent, littered with empty containers. One of the individuals has his black boots sticking out of the peaks of the tent flaps, taking a lovely nap. On the right a man is having a wonderful tan on top of a foldable chair, while his companion takes up the other seat and stares into the beautiful skies as if he was waiting for something to happen. However, not everyone seems to appreciate the beauty of nature, as the seemingly rebellious teenager of the group lies in the back seat of the car not moving an inch with a newspaper over his head.

Let’s face it; they are practically road-kill.

Feeling the wrath of the sun’s rays, four campers find themselves stranded on the road.

“Pass the water,” a voice from the tent rang out.

The one who was ‘enjoying’ his tan only uses his right arm, and hurls the nearest container he could reach towards the voice, only for it to land nearby their foot instead. A hollow clatter with a couple of sloshing noises follows, as it rolls a few inches before stopping at the recipient’s foot.

“Thanks.” Gladly receiving the bottle, the foot rolls the bottle into the tent. The other foot didn’t even twitch.

“Look it’s a shooting star,” the man looking at the beautiful skies remarks dreamingly. “Let’s make a wish.”

“It’s noon. There are no stars,” the tanner comments, lolling his head to the side to face his companion.

“Don’t you see it, it’s over there,” he points to the horizon, his arms immediately dropping afterwards.

“Don’t be stupid Prompto, that’s not a star. It’s a car you moron.” His friend snorts.

Wait.

It’s a car.

A car.

A CAR!

Shooting out of his seat, he rubs his eyes and blinks twice.

Within sight, is a tiny figure approaching their direction.

“We’re saved!” Ignis hollers in sheer delight as he gets up from his chair.

The other two instantly shot up and scramble to the side of the road, blowing the newspaper off the fourth person’s head. A miracle is heading towards them, and they all cheer and wave their hands to signal the incoming vehicle. It is close enough, that the four people could tell that it is light blue. The car slows down, and the driver, a middle aged man, seems to look around them and the scene. His eyes widen in alarm before speeding ahead as if a rocket-powered bull is chasing him.

“WAIT! COME BACK! WE JUST WANT SOME GAS!” Ignis chases after the car, with Prompto hurling curses at the man like a sailor. It took half a minute later for Ignis to realize that he can never out run a car on foot. By the time all three of them had calmed down, they were already exhausted.

“WHY!?” Ignis screams in frustration and punching the ground on his knees. “WHY?!”

“Why ‘What’, Iggy?” Prompto said, in fake exasperation. “Why that car sped up, and ditched us, or why has that been the only car in the past two hours that drove by? Or is it ‘why is Noctis still sleeping in the back of the car in this dead heat’?” With the last statement, he points at the figure inside the car accusingly, at proceeds to poke him in the face.

Gladiodus lightly slaps Prompto’s hand away from the sleeping prince’s cheek. “Stop that, Prompto.”

Noctis stirs, and rolls his head in the other direction. He lightly groans, and rubs his eye. “Hey, are we there yet?”

All three of them stare at Noctis unimpressed, and speechless towards his obliviousness to the situation. Gladiodus decides to break the situation to Noctis, “No, your highness. We ran out of gas, and are currently stuck here-“

“Thanks to Ignis being a cheap old man who didn’t fill up the tank properly.” Prompto interrupts.

“Quiet, Prompto.” Gladiodus frowns at Prompto. “As I were saying before I was rudely interrupted… We are stuck here and were hoping that we can ask a driver help us out, but the only driver so far passed by us without stopping.”

Noctis frowned, at the news, and ask the dreaded question. “Isn’t there a service that can help tow our car? Has anyone tried walking to the gas station?”

“Walking in this dead heat is stifling enough, but even not considering the weather the nearest gas station is eight miles off. It could take a couple hours to get there, that’s not even counting the way back.” Gladiodus tries to clarify to him. “We thought it would be better to wait a bit, before sending someone off…Noctis are you even listening?” Gladiodus looks at his charge, who seems to find the space beside him more intriguing than listening to his very important explanation.

“Noctis.”

There is no response.

“Noctis.”

Their ever beloved prince remains unresponsive.

Gladiodus was getting irritated by the prince’s behavior. “NOCT-

“Gladiodus, isn’t that a car right there?” Noctis points behind him. Whipping their heads in the direction of Noctis’ finger, they spot another car speeding ahead.

They start screaming and wildly waving their arms, once again signaling the driver. However, the car show no signs of slowing down. With more fervor than before they shout, cry, and any other loud synonym that meant screaming, they did, hoping to catch the cars attention. It still shows no signs of stopping.

It seems like all hope was lost, when the young prince, boldly steps in the path of the car raising his sword that he conjured out of nowhere. He faces the car, points his sword and commands with the authority of his royal status “I, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prince and heir to Lucis, order you to st-“

He never got to finish that sentence.

“NOCTIS!” Gladiodus, Prompto, and Ignis scream, as they watch their friend launched into the air.

 

 

 

Extra:

Cato was a reasonable man. With a decent salary, he didn’t mind going from city to city, even if the trips were tedious. On his way to another town, he sees a black car idle on the side of the road. Soon, he spots a figure run out of a tent, along with two others, hollering something about being saved. Slowing down to see if they need help, he got a good look at the three. One of them didn’t have a shirt, and had tattoos lining his arms like a gang boss. The second one had a gun on his shoulder like it was nobodies’ business, it probably wasn’t, but that didn’t reassure the perfectly law abiding salary-man. The third one looks like a shady gang leader, with his fancy suit, and scary shiny glasses glinting in the sunlight. However, what sold it to him is was the fact there is a person who is unconscious in the back seat of the car, or sleeping in this ridiculously hot weather. Seeing how it is impossible get sleep in this hot weather, it must be the former.

Mafia.

Gang.

Disposing of a corpse.

Many other words formed in his head, as he stares at the sweaty, demented looking hooligans. Despite the influx of vocabulary that forms in his mind, one thought rang clearer than the rest.

RUN.

Flooring the gas pedal, he speeds up and leaves the hooligans behind. He feels a twinge of guilt, for potentially leaving people in need of help. Looking back at his side mirror he sees to his horror, the shady mafia boss chasing his car, with a sheer demented look in his eye. Terrified for his life, Cato accelerates the car hoping to get away from the psychotic man. Any feeling of guilt he might have gotten from judging them dissipates, when he heard what sounds like death threats, and curses that can make a sailor cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is quite late! Sorry about that. I had lots of ideas, but I had serious problems making it flow. As you can see, it's not a one shot, but more like a gag series. (sort of) The updates between the chapters may take around a month and a bit to complete. (even though it's short, but the chapters would for sure be longer than the 1st chapter)  
> Updates aside, I hope the omake explains the drivers’ actions. (and makes up for it) It’s just not the same, when I tried cramming it in to one text.  
> Thanks for reading and anticipate for the next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically crack. I love poking fun at these characters. I mean is this really the same serious dark game that it was supposed to be eight years ago? THUMBS UP FOR BROMANTIC ROADTRIP!


End file.
